Leading By Example
by Noel Goddard
Original Pub. Date: July 1997
Summary: Blair convinces Jim to come out of the closet.
Blair was almost whining now. *I hate it when he whines* I couldn't tune out the voice of my new lover though.
"C'mon man. We have to go. Please, Jim?"
I reached back to rub the knots developing in my neck, "Sandburg, after all of the problems we've had just since announcing our relationship to the precinct, you want to do this? It's crazy!"
Blair responded by beginning to pace like a caged animal around the living room, "This is just so not fair, Jim. Do you realize that I've been completely in the closet since I met you? I haven't been this closeted since high school!"
I reached out to pull my overwrought lover close to my chest and still his nervous movements, "Look, Chief, I know that. Remember, that's a large part of why we made our relationship public. But this, this is just too much."
Blair leaned back into the embrace to nuzzle his curls into my neck, "Jim, why don't you think about it? I really don't see how going to one PrideFest is going to ruin everything, but if you need some time to think about it, that's okay."
Given my reprieve for the evening, I set about the more important business of ravishing my lover. I slowly bent my head down to his ear, nibbling first, then licking carefully around the delicate hoops there. A moan issued from Blair that I could feel rumbling through his chest. I moved my hands from around his waist to his chest, stroking over the still-clothed surface.
Even through the clothing, I could feel the hard metal of Blair's nipple ring. As I stoked over and around the ring, Blair moaned again and then became a more active participant. He turned in my arms so that his smoky blue eyes were soon staring into mine intensely. As I breathed in, I could smell the arousal that was so obviously visible in those eyes.
As Blair stared at me, he spoke in his most sultry voice, "I think we'd better take this upstairs." Just the look in his eyes and the tone of his voice was enough to make me physically ache for him. Licking my lips in anticipation, I nodded in agreement, "I think you're right."
Just as quickly as the arousal appeared in Blair's eyes, it was momentarily replaced by a look of mischief as he spoke, "Remember, it took a professional cleaning crew to get all of the stains out of the couch last time!" With that, he bolted for the stairs with me not far behind.
I caught up with Blair at the top of the stairs and tackled him onto our king size bed. The bed had been our first purchase as a couple. We had soon discovered that we were just a BIT too active for my old queen size bed. Now, as I lay across the younger man, I pinned his arms above his head with one hand and began to unbutton the buttons of his flannel shirt very slowly.
Blair moaned, "C'mon Jim. I'm dying here. Hurry up!"
Now it was my turn for mischief, "No, I don't think so Chief. I still owe you for the hell you caused me when my arm was in a cast. It was just down right CRUEL to make me forget the itch and then remind me of it after you'd had your way with me." To emphasize my point, I carefully applied just the slightest pressure to Blair's throbbing groin with my free hand. It was not enough pressure to provide any real relief or satisfaction, but it was enough to make Blair cry out his need.
As Blair regained some control, he called out, "Okay, Jim. I give. Uncle, man." He saw my smile, "Now, get me out of these jeans before I suffer any permanent damage!"
Taking pity on my Guide, I did just that. Releasing my grip on Blair's arms, he removed his shirt while I worked his jeans. Soon he was nude beneath my fingertips. I stoked gently across his chest, through the dark hair and over the nipple ring. Following the trail of hair, I made my way down to Blair's erection, which was large and obviously glad to be free of the denim prison. I ever so gently moved the fingertips of one hand over the weeping head of Blair's cock, while the other hand slowly rolled Blair's balls back and forth. The kid was nearly bucking off the bed with each touch. My light touches had made him almost hypersensitive in his responses. I chuckled in a low voice, knowing exactly what Blair was feeling. Hell, it was how I felt every time he felt me up.
I pulled back from Blair and watched as his movements stilled. Opening his eyes, he stared at me in puzzlement, "Jim, what's wrong man? Why'd you stop?"
Not knowing any other way to put it, I was blunt, "You, Chief, look entirely too fuckable, and here I sit with ALL of my clothes still on."
Blair grinned seemingly from ear to ear, "Well, we'll just have to do something about that won't we?"
Blair raised up onto his knees on the bed to face me and began to lick and nibble my neck. Before long his hands joined the act, they were running over my t-shirt with maddening randomness. By a sheer act of will, I pulled my neck away from his mouth, so that I could meet his mouth with my own. Almost as soon as I had, Blair's tongue pushed at my lips demanding entrance into my mouth. Meanwhile, his hands were busy at my waist tugging my t-shirt from my too-tight jeans.
Quickly, I pulled back from the kiss and raised my arms so that Blair could pull the shirt over my head. Once gone, Blair's right hand returned to exploring my chest and ultra-sensitive nipples. His left hand searched out the small rip in these old jeans that gave him access to my ass. I kept trying to discourage him from doing that by warning that the rip would only get bigger if Blair's kept using it that way. Funny, he never did stop.
Finally, my senses were nearly on overload, and I knew it was time. It was time to nail Blair to the mattress, or I would be enjoying this orgasm alone. I grunted the information to Blair, "Now, Chief. I need you now."
With that warning, Blair stopped his slow stroking and immediately pulled down my jeans. While I stepped off the bed to peel them down my legs, Blair leaned over and pulled the lube from the bedside table. We had stopped using condoms after we each received clean HIV tests.
Quickly Blair squeezed some lube into each of our hands. Looking seductive and impish all at once, he spoke to the point, "Let's each get ourselves ready, big guy." Before I could respond, Blair had one slick finger up his own ass, finger-fucking himself and driving me crazy as a result. Carefully, I spread the lube in my own hand across my cock such that I wouldn't come before I got inside Blair. Watching Blair finger-fuck himself was almost enough to drive me over the edge though. I needed him soon.
In what hoarse voice I could still muster, I used the monosyllabic approach, "Ready?"
With a groan, Blair withdrew his fingers and nodded yes.
Carefully leaning Blair on his back and positioning his legs, I lined up my cock with the tight opening to his body. With one smooth thrust, I was soon surrounded by and lost in the essence of Blair. My instincts took over and I rode Blair hard- thrusting with my groin and tasting the rest of Blair with my mouth. Blair's cock was caught in the friction between our two bodies where it erupted, sending its seed across our abdomens. As he came, Blair called in joy, and his muscles clenched at me. With a roar, I emptied my soul into my lover before collapsing on top of him.
Once the world spun back into place, I slid out of him and moved to hold him in my arms. He curled back into me, and we slept, exhausted by our love.
We awoke a few hours later, still wrapped together. I listened for my Guide's heartbeat and could tell immediately that he too was stirring from his nap.
The curly head turned to look at me as I greeted him simply, "Wow."
Blair snickered, "Yeah, man. I think that might be the understatement of the year!"
Hugging Blair even closer, if that was possible, I teased, "So, does this mean I'm now part of the 'earth-moved' group?"
Equally jovial, Blair responded, "You are like the ONLY member of the 'earth-moved' group for me."
Knowing that the peace was too good to last, I waited for Blair to return to his badgering. Sure enough, Blair dove right in, "So, what do you think? Are we going to PrideFest tomorrow?"
Before answering, I struggled to a sitting position on the bed, pulling Blair with me, "Blair, what am I supposed to do? Just show up and announce myself as the city's token gay cop?"
Blair snorted loudly, "Are you really that oblivious? Cascade PD DOES have a gay police organization, you know. I just hadn't pushed about you joining it because I figured it wasn't really your style."
I stared at my Guide dumbfounded, "You mean there's a whole group of gay cops that will be there?"
Blair shook his head in the same way I'd seen him do with slow students time and time again, "Did you honestly think you were the only gay cop in the whole city? No way man."
I had to admit to myself that was pretty silly. I pushed for more though, "So why should I join such a group? What good does it do except to alienate me from my fellow officers? My ...our...private life should be that - private."
Blair stared deep into my eyes, "Remember how lost you were when you first came to me after your senses went haywire? You were desperately searching for someone, anyone who could tell you what was going on and that you weren't going crazy." I nodded in agreement before he continued, "You were also looking for affirmation that you weren't the only one with this problem."
Blair stopped waiting for me to put the pieces together. Seeing that I was still lost, he spelled it out for me, "Jim, that's what this group is. It's affirmation for all the cops involved and for all the still-closeted cops that they're not crazy. That they're not the only ones. Just think what an impact you being openly gay could have on all the closeted cops in this city!"
Understanding was beginning to dawn, but I wasn't going to give in that easily, "Okay, I understand the affirmation thing, but why me? Why would I make such a huge impact?"
Blair reached up and tapped me lightly on the head as a reprimand, "Because man, if the cop with the best conviction rate in Major Crimes can be gay, then it shows that you can be gay and still be a good, no, a great cop."
With that last piece of the argument, I gave in, "Fine Sandburg. We'll go to PrideFest tomorrow. What ungodly hour do we have to get up on our only day off this week?"
Blair grinned, "I told Blake, the President of the group, that we'd meet him at the parade start site at 9:30 tomorrow morning."
I ruffled his hair playfully, "Awfully sure of yourself weren't you?"
Blair only smiled and snuggled further into my arms.
Well, here I stand at the start of my very first Pride Parade. Blair informed me of the history behind the event on the drive over. Apparently every major city across the country has an event similar to this in June to commemorate the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, which were the beginning of the gay civil rights movement.
Blair had gone to find this Blake person. As I stood leaning on a tree in the park, I watched the widest variety of people pass by - everything from buffed upscale yuppie men to drag queens to young lipstick lesbians to topless ultra-feminists. It seemed to be a gathering of the most divergent groups of people possible, and yet, even I couldn't deny the feeling of community in the air. Here everyone belonged, and everyone was welcome.
Soon, Blair was back with Blake in tow. To say I was shocked would be to put it mildly, "Blake? Blake Spencer? God, I haven't seen you since the academy!" Blake pulled me into a bear hug, clapping me firmly on the shoulder, "I'm so glad to see you here Jim. When Blair first approached me about you two joining us for the march, I wasn't sure that he could convince you to join us. You were just SO closeted when we were in the academy."
I laughed out loud, "I wasn't just closeted. I was in major denial! As you might recall, I was married to Carolyn at the time."
Blake laughed back, "Well, I always knew that it was just a phase you were going through."
Blair clasped my hand in his, and we followed Blake over to where the rest of the cops were gathered. As I was being introduced to the thirty or so other cops in the group, the parade marshall called out over the bullhorn, "Let the parade begin!"
As the group began to move forward in the parade, one particularly young and nervous cop approached me, "Detective Ellison, my name is Tim Hall. I just wanted to thank you for joining us today. It really means a lot to someone like me fresh out of the academy to see more senior successful officers who are openly gay. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks."
The young man moved away even before I could say thanks for his kind words. I turned to look at Blair, who just nodded and said, "Like I said man, leading by example."
The parade went by relatively uneventfully. There were a few holy-roller types along the route who protested our presence, but they quickly shut up when they saw our police banner. Once the parade came to a halt at the park in front of city hall, there was a rally where speakers told inspirational stories of how our movement began and of how someday we would no longer have to fight against hate and bigotry.
The rally concluded with performances by the gay choruses of the city. They all joined together to sing one piece to close the rally. The piece they had chosen wafted through the air with its simple but moving melody and poetic words:
I have seen a summer day
That slowly opens like a rose
Along a quiet road that wanders by
And I have smiled and wonder'd
where it goes
I have stumbled through the night
Alone as any one can by
Then found a silent canyon full of stars
And in my heart I heard them telling
me I was home
The gentle winds
The rains that fall
The tallest trees
I'm part of it all
I've seen the silver mountain tops
And golden prairies on my way
Now everywhere I go across the land
I stand so proudly in the sun and
say I am home
I've dreamed of Eden all my life
I find it more and more each day
Now everywhere I go across the land
I stand so proudly in the sun and
say I am home.
(An American Hymn; M.A. Leiken, lyrics; L. Holridge, music; 1992)
After the end of the song, I stared first up at the sun and clear sky before looking down at my partner, my Guide. Blair stared back at me with love-filled eyes. Just to make it completely clear to him, I repeated the simple message of the song, "I am home." With that Blair pulled me down into a kiss that sealed our love publicly for all the world to see.