by Noel Goddard
Original Pub. Date: January 2005
Summary: Written as a gift for shrift, this is a short character ficlet written after Tom leaves MI-5. (Tom/Peter)
Tom sat alone his flat. As he looked around, he noted again how stark the walls were basic government white. Nothing personal. No degrees. No photos. No art. Nothing to define the man who lived here.
It would be a security risk. Basic spy-stuff 101. Only he was no longer a spy. He was a civilian, an individual.
He had spent his entire life in service to his country. A cog in the greater machine. He had no idea who he was or how to be. How to be Tom Quinn, civilian citizen.
The more frightening thing was that even after everything that had happened, he didn’t want to be a civilian. He didn’t want to be an individual. He didn’t want to be ordinary.
Now, only after everything that had happened, did he finally understand what Peter had been trying to tell him two years ago. Two years ago when Peter hanged himself rather than be turned into an individual. Both he and Peter had sold their souls, their individuality, long ago.
With that, Tom turned his attention to the gun on the table in front of him. He smiled as prepared to see his old friend.